4.17.2025

my favorite thing about myself is that my motivation is completely internal.

being around other “builders” does nothing for me. i don’t need community to feel driven. i don’t need validation. i don’t need vibes.

i can be in nyc, sf, gambia, utah. same energy. the only person who fuels it is me.

sometimes i wonder if i’m missing something. maybe i lack a core part of being human. most people need support. they crave community.

but i don’t. never have. i just need myself and God.

is that strength? or something broken? probably the latter. probably a hyper-independence trauma response 😅

but tbh i think most “builder communities” are just lonely people searching for aesthetics and belonging. not people actually trying to dramatically change reality.

this is also ironic because i build communities and fully recognize how much they impact others…

and yet i feel completely unaffected by them myself.

i’m so weird LOL maybe it’s time for therapy

feels like an out of body experience