alchemy of happiness | al-ghazzali on the treatment of hypocrisy
on pg. 45, paragraph ii, he writes:
“…he has done all of this to please the people, but their pleasure will never be obtained. as soon as one is pleased, another becomes displeased ; if one offers praise, another offers reproaches. and even if they all utter praises, what has one gained from them? they do not have his sustenance in their hands, nor do they have his life, nor his happiness in this world or the next. it is absolute ignorance to put one’s heart in a state of anxiety and to throw it into the danger of punishment and loathing (by God) for such a motive! one must keep this (thought) and its like fresh in one’s heart!”
i think what is so powerful about ghazzali’s take on hypocrisy and people pleasing is because he transcends the typical advice of ‘you can’t make everyone happy.’ al-ghazzali displays a deep understanding of the human condition, how we perceive situations, how our psychology and brain works, and the way of thinking we need to adapt in order for us to actually change and grow.
ghazzali says something thats so crucial and goes a level deeper by saying, even IF every person in the world loves you and were to utter your praises, what would you gain from it? this changed my entire perspective on life because the common refrain is that you can't please everyone. while true, it implicitly suggests that pleasing everyone is a desirable goal, albeit unattainable. ghazzali dismantles this notion by asking, what do you truly gain from universal approval?
his perspective flips a switch in your brain, & makes it known that you indeed CAN please everyone but what is that going to do for you?nothing! saying “you can’t please everyone” doesn’t do much in terms of getting you to NOT care what people think. it really doesn’t. this only works for about 1% of the population. what the other 99% of people need is to take ghazzali’s outlook on this, which is:
suppose i, in fact, do please everyone: